Fired for the First Time

I was fired several days ago. I had been working for the company for about 4 months and, in that time, I made a couple of big mistakes that effected our clients. I understand that their decision to let me go was a sound one as far as business decisions go... at least on the surface. But that certainly doesn't change the fact that I feel like I didn't really have a chance to succeed at my job and I'm not sure anyone else they might hire will do any better unless they get extremely lucky.

Because of the sensitive nature of the job I had, I won't tell you who I worked for or what mistakes I made. Some of you already know anyway. I can publicly share that I was working for a high-volume funeral service company. 

The reason I feel like this job was built for failure is the training. I was given several days of "training" which consisted of me being in the office with someone else who had been doing this job for at least a year. But in those several days, since there was only one computer, I spent 80% of the time watching my supervisor do her job and the other 20% fumbling around trying to do my job while my coworker read the newspaper. 

But because this was a very complex and ever-changing job with a laundry list of responsibilities, there was no way I could have learned everything I needed to know in that time. I was left to fend for myself, sometimes the only person in the building for most of a 10-hour shift. In the entire time I was working there, I never got to a point where I felt like I knew what I was doing. I was always having to find someone to answer my questions. 

Not knowing my job made me extremely nervous because I knew my role in the company was important and I had a very clear and direct impact on a lot of people, in a very difficult time for them. Unfortunately, being nervous made me make even more mistakes. 

I don't feel like it would be fair to disclose my wages but I will say that I made as much per hour as I was paying my babysitter - no more. And I was very lucky to find a babysitter who didn't charge more than my boss was willing to pay me. On top of that, my hours were crazy, they don't provide insurance or any other benefits unless you manage to go full-time (which may or may not happen after a year of diligent service), and I didn't get breaks at all... even on days when I worked 10 hours or more straight. 

I was really dedicated to my job. It was important to me for a variety of reasons. The two most significant of which were that having a job is fundamentally important to me and does amazing things for my self confidence and that I was doing something that I considered to be important for society. So it hurt to lose my job. But perhaps I'm better off since they let me go.